"You Don't Know"

written from Dan's perspective


1) original lyrics in purple
2) my re-write of lyrics in black


"You Don't Know" - original

from "Next to Normal"
lyrics by Brian Yorkey
music by Tom Kitt


DIANA

Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?
It's like living on a cliffside not knowing when you'll dive.
Do you know, do you know, what it's like to die alive?

When the world that once had color fades to white and gray and black
When tomorrow terrifies you but you'll die if you look back–

You don't know! I know you don't know.
You say that you're hurting, it sure doesn't show.
You don't know. You tell me let go.
And you may say so, but I say, you don't know.

The sensation that you're screaming, but you never make a sound.
Or the feeling that you're falling, but you never hit the ground.
It just keeps on rushing at you day by day by day by day.
You don't know, you don't know, what it's like to live that way.

Like a refugee, a fugitive, forever on the run.
If it gets me it will kill me, but I don't know what I've done!




INTRO:
Imagine Dan singing this in response to Diana's song. He gets double-time because he's addressing
both Diana's depression (part A) and her mania (part B).


"You Don't Know", pt. A

lyrics by Lisa Kasamoto
springboarding off of Brian Yorkey's lyrics
music by Tom Kitt


DAN

When I come home after work and I find you're still in bed
I'm at a loss for what to do, but place my hand upon your head.
It's like living in a nightmarewhen you say you want to die.
Do you know, do you knowwhat it's like to watch you cry?

When the world goes on around us while our family falls apart
We've got just one child to care for but she needs both of our hearts–

You don’t know! I know you don't know
You say that you give up I say please God, no.
You don’t know, you want to let go
And you may say so but I say, you don’t know.

Your daughter screams for your help, but you cannot hear or see.
Sometimes I'm the one who's fallingbut you're never there for me.
Your emptiness is actually a weight upon my back.
You don't know, you don't know that I hurt from what you lack.

My love, my only choice is to keep you safe and warm
But it’s not my choice when this is the calm before the storm.


BECAUSE…


part B

DAN

Then I wake up in the morning to find you've been up all night.
I'm the one who's making sense, but you'll never see I'm right.
It's like living on a fault line and I know you'll break away.
Do you know, do you know what it's like to live that way?

When you're talking with our son and you say I just can't see
When you rage day after day You're the one who can't see me–

You don’t know! I know you don't know
You say that you're happy. You're out of control
You don't know, I say take it slow
and you may say No, but I say, you don’t know

When you're screaming that I mock you when all I did was smile
When you're falling for another when I’ve been here all the while.
You just keep on going faster 'til you think that you can fly.
You don’t know, you don’t know what it's like to watch you try!

I’m the tree that's in the storm forever standing tall
but I've not been built to bend so what happens when I fall?!



BACKSTORY:
I sat down to do this just to see if I could. It turned out to be very healing. As someone with bipolar disorder, I am Diana and I had a Dan in my life for nine years. I saw Diana winning the argument (that’s what we do!) with the last word, heightened emotion, overpowering octave and volume, something thrown and someone shoved (plus Alice Ripley's unbeatable voice). To find myself able to say, "That's not fair" and step into Dan's shoes and give him a voice... that's the power that "Next to Normal" has to pull things out of me that nothing else could.

In the show, Dan does respond with a song, “I Am the One”, which is perfect emotionally, lyrically, and the way it is sung at the same time as Diana’s. Still, I felt Dan deserved to respond, in the same theme, “No, you don’t know what it’s like for me; no one looks at the healthy one; no one recognizes that I have needs too, especially you.” My instincts were right in that I discovered the song, “I’ve Been”, which is Dan’s heartbreaking side of it, from the earlier incarnation, “Feeling Electric”. The song was cut.

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